Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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