Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
