I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
