Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
