Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize