There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
