Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
