He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
