Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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