I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize