hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
