Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
