That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
