Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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