I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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