don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Acid is not a monday night drug
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
