Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you win again, gameday.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
