Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize