You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
