K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
