We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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