He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize