**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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