Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The beer is more important than you right now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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