Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
