come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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