White coat. Heels.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
