Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize