How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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