I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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