ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
