I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
