I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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