I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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