Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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