Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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