i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
