The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
