i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
