Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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