If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
