Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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