i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
soo... how was my night?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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