32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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