So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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