Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
