the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
