we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
