Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
