I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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