i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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