nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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