I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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