my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
