i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
