Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
