how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize