No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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