Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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