Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize