My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize