worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
