Whatcha textin bout Willis?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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