An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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