There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
