So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize