I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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