The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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