i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
