i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
