I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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