Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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