If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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